Rudolph...

Mom don't read this.

Once upon a time I sat in my dorm room the last night before heading home for winter break and watched Rudolph with my cynical friend who deconstructed the whole thing for me (SANTA=SATAN?!).
It was a fun time.

Here's an article of similar spirit: After just watching it this special with J, who hadn't seen it in years and was shocked by some of it, I appreciated it even more.


Yes mom, I know. It's a kids thing. But a world with a miserable and mean Santa is just subversive and has to be laughed at as well as enjoyed for nostalgic reasons.


PS: Countdown to Charlie Brown = 6 days!

The Race I No Longer Speak of...

I have a few minutes before Rudolph (of the Red Nose Reindeers) starts his annual tradition of being embarrassed and held down by THE MAN (and you know I mean Santa and his minions)...So let's talk Race.

I Almost gave up last night.

If they have one more "due to a production issue with the car battery and the camera" incident that causes a team to drop from first to last without any sort of compensation being made to the race, I quit for good. Or until the next season's on.

I didn't mind the race until I started watching season one on Netflix DVD and now I realize how lame it is. They are on a scavenger hunt and the "clues" mean nothing.

I long for the days of Chip and Kim...and am hoping the next go round is better.

150 Minutes of Meals

I spent the weekend at the parents and they have cable (and I do not) and so I not only gorged myself on Turkey and the like, but I made sure I also saw at least 6 episodes of 30 Minute Meals. I so love that show and it's really one of the only things I miss about not having cable. I get completely in the mood for cooking when I watch Rachael Ray throw stuff in a pot and not measure it and cook things I don't like but remind me I can make it with chicken instead. I just love it.

We managed to see one from like 2001 or something, long before she was so animated in her descriptions and when she was a bit less comfortable in front of the camera. I prefer newer Rachael because even though she's animated, she's dropped the habit of saying "a little EVOO that's extra virgin olive oil..." She finally understands that her audience knows what she means when she abbreviates.

We also caught some Iron Chef America. Every single time I watch that it's my least favorite chef: Bobby Flay. I want Morimoto! I want to see the girl chef! I'll even take Mario! Bobby Flay is a disaster waiting to happen though. He burned himself and almost fell down three times during th squash battle. I'm also shocked by the challengers in this American version. They keep finishing way too early. And just stand around for 2 minutes. That's so not the Iron Chef spirit people!

Really? Does there have to be more?

This week we're down to four teams: the sisters, the brothers and sister, the mom and her teens, and the dad and his daughters. They're in the wild west people and it's some beautiful country. Even if I don't want to live there you have to admit there's some good sight-seeing going on.

But then, the Weavers can't appreciate it. God-fearing, Christ-loving Weavers who believe they are so high and mighty compared to all others find some of the most beautiful scenery of the trip thus far "ugly." In fact one of them even decided that "God didn't spend much time on Utah." WHAT?!?! I mean, they are driving past cliffs with waterfalls but obviously, they aren't as gorgeous as the mini-malls of Florida.

Also: I'm ready for the Weaver daughters to put some clothes on please. Their shorts only got shorter when they chose to mountain bike 6 miles. But then if they'd had to wear the grappling gear that the other teams chose, I suppose the wedgies would have been worse.

I knew something was up when the Godlewskis (the sisters) were suddenly way behind and yet they drove up and all we got was a Phil voiceover explaining that they had car trouble due to production errors...that they didn't show the drama of that really showed me that it was likely a non-elimination round anyway.

And it was. The Linz family (the brothers and sister) finally won a leg and even yielded the Weavers - only to have it be non-elimination. What's the point of the yield if no one is eliminated?!?

So at the end, we still have four teams. And this race better end soon so we can get on with a more traditional one.

Seriously, What's Up With ZACH?!

Tonight on Gilmore, the girls were back together and catching up quickly though I'm still bothered by Rory's Bangs.

Luke was feeling the guilt of having a daughter that he doesn't know and whose life he is not a part of, and yet it gave him better perspective on Christopher. So when Lorelei told him that the call from Christopher ended up being about Christopher's inheritance and his giving Rory money for Yale, Luke was cool with it. He told his sister, he tried to call the daughter, but he still wasn't honest with Lorelei.

Sookie's and Michel's reaction to Rory being home were cute.

But most of all, I was happy that Lane had something to do this episode. Her dumb boyfriend ruined their showcase gig with a real live record label - all because he's jealous that Brian wrote a song called "Lane." See, it has nothing to do with a crush (so far at least) and everything to do with Zach claiming that nothing rhymed with Lane and Brian proving him wrong but now it seems destined to ruin both the Zach/Lane combo AND the band. And I love me some Sebastian Bach so that better not be the case. He cracks me up. And I loved when he attacked Zach on stage. Though I thought he should have done it as soon as Mr. Tambourine Man was introduced.

No scenes from next week because they are showing a movie instead, the jerks.

Can't wait for the fallout from Richard and Emily no longer paying for Yale. With no financial tie to their girls, it makes you wonder what will happen. Will Emily freak completely? Will Richard mend all fences behind her back?

It's Time to Rent: Millions

Time for me to start talking about my netflix rentals, particularly if those wacky networks continue to cancel my shows.

Last week we rented Millions which was so much better and different than I thought it would be. It is directed by the guy who directed Trainspotting. Who'd a-thunk that a man who got so disturbingly into a junkie's head would make the sweetest kids movie I've seen in forever?

MIllions is about two British boys who move with their father from the city to the suburbs not long after their mother dies.
The youngest son, Damian, is mourning by living in world where he talks to the saints. Anthony is just trying to move on and fit in at their new school. One day while Damian is playing in his fort near the train tracks, hanging out and talking with one of the saints in his imagination, a bag of money falls from the sky. The two brothers now must figure out what to do with the money, especially since the Euro is taking over Europe and the money they just found is about to be obsolete.

The money is just a catalyst to heal this family and I won't give away details but how it fell into their hands and what they do with it is very clever.

As the credits rolled I found a smile on my face that just wouldn't go away.

Martha and the coffee makers

So tonight's task was another boring one. They had storefronts with which they were to sell coffee makers that could tell from bar codes that they were making coffee or cocoa or whatever. Blah blah blah.

But it had two highpoints.

The winners were sent on an AWESOME prize of going to Martha's gorgeous home in Maine, getting a tour, and then taking a boat trip with a picnic lunch prepared by Alexis.

The other high point was that Marcela was PM and she lost for the second time and seemed a shoe in to go home and just about surrendered which was ticking me off big time. Because they lost because they couldn't sell. Yet the team was nit picking Marcela's idea of marketing: to bring in a pastry chef to highlight the coffee being made by the coffemaker they were trying to sell. And it was brilliant. Cuz the place was packed, my friends. Just because Ryan and Amanda didn't like her and didn't like her idea, they chose to lay back and barely sell and they lost big time.

Enter Jim. I don't like Jim but he (probably with a selfish reason of his own) encouraged Marcela with an awesome pep talk just before the conference room and she got a new fire and spirit and fought for herself. And Amanda with a lame reason of wanting to work for Martha cuz she'd like to garden at home (?!?) paled in comparison to Marcela's claims that she wanted to help Martha establishe herself as the Mexican Martha Stewart. I mean, Amanda sat there and talked about it being ok not to be perfect and I thought Alexis was going to come across the table and throttle her! Whereas Marcela played up that her coworkers and friends call her the Mexican Martha Stewart "but I don't want to be the Mexican Martha Stewart. I want to help you tap into our market so you can be the Mexican Martha Stewart." And Martha's eyes saw the dollar signs and Marcela was saved for another week.
Rock on.

First you take a stick of butter...

My family and I have been joking about Paula Dean for the longest time. The main joke: she seems to think everything is better with butter.

The last time I watched her show, she taught us to make apple butter and here's her recipe. You take a jar of store bought apple butter and add a stick of butter and then you have apple butter.

This epitomizes her cooking.
The screenshots made me sick...

America's Next Top Model?

Ok, here's the deal on this show. I consistently only catch the last part; the end of their photo shoot and then the judging.
So my opinions on whom should win could be off base completely.
But I'm thrilled Lisa's gone and think it's between Bre, Kim and Nik to win this and while I like the modeling of the other two, Kim is the most interesting to me and the best chameleon.

Please place all disagreements in the comments.

And you never lost me...

So where to start with the glorious Gilmores?

Lorelei's house is eerily quiet because Luke paid the contractors extra cash to hurry it up already. So they did and then he dropped his big surprise on her: his grandma's ornate and un-Lorelei-ish bedroom furniture. But she lied that she loved it cuz Luke loves it.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Rory and Gramma are snippy with each other about eating breakfast properly.
Suddenly on that front, Rory is up and moving out. Or, more succinctly, Finn and Colin are moving Rory out when Richard arrives home to an otherwise empty house.

Eventually we learn that Rory's at Lane's house, much to Zach's chagrin. Rory then proceeds to try to turn a phone call from the editor of the Paper she last interned at, where he agrees to provide a reference for her for other jobs, into a job offer. She does this by being particularly annoying and hounding him and hounding him and stalking him and hounding him.

Meanwhile, Lorelei's unsure how to handle the whole icky furniture deal. And Sookie and Jackson arrive for dinner. And of course Christopher calls. And Lorelei acts like Lorelei and turns off the answering machine just as Luke walks in. He missed the rest of the message, where it was obvious that Christopher and Lorelei haven't spoken in forever (he had no clue that she and Rory weren't speaking). And so Luke jumps to the conclusion that Lorelei is hiding something. Which she's totally done before.

Oh, Luke, he refuses to fight in front of company. He's angry and quiet during dinner. Of course he does fight in front of company in a really well-acted and at times hilarious scene where Luke ends up storming out with Lorelei calling him a Desperate Housewife while Jackson thinks the whole thing is because his hamburgers are better. And then Sookie: She lets Jackson think he's right, it is his fault, and I laugh out loud.

Luke and Lorelei make up in the very next scene, come clean about his feelings on Christopher and her feelings on the furniture, and agree to keep no secrets. If you believe that.

Richard returns home from a trip thinking Emily has moved out on him (like Rory did) and begs Lorelei to help him find her. Lorelei tries to track Rory at Lane's to find out what the hell happened with her daughter and her mother; instead she confronts Zach about his nastiness over money. Tee hee. Lorelei ends up finding her mother trying to buy a plane at an airplane hangar. And Emily has a meltdown about not getting respect from her family and losing Rory like she lost Lorelei. Lorelei clears it up for her (or tries): Rory's situation is totally different; she never belonged at Emily's house, she belonged at Yale. So Emily didn't lose her. And then as Lorelei exits the plane she says "and you never lost me," and my letter writing campaign to those who give out Emmy's began cuz dammit all, those two need Emmys.

Luke-of-the-no-secrets is slaving away at the diner when a Rory, Jr. comes in (ok, she's not as cute as Rory and she's much more extroverted but she's definitely studious). Rory 2.0 steals some of his hair for a science fair project called "who's my daddy?"

Luke finds out HE is her daddy by showing up at her science fair a few days later. She's pretty matter of fact about it; he's awkward and filled with guilt. He never knew about her.

Rory gets the job and comes home to Mama. She calls to share her news with her Mom, explains she's gotten back into Yale, and just needs to find a new home. They finally reunite and Rory finally apologizes. And Lorelei apologizes...and you get the feeling they both should be apologizing (though I've always been on Lorelei's side this whole time).

Lorelei dashes off to load up on Luke's junk food and busts in to tell him Rory's back, they can get married and he stands there dumbfounded, keeping a secret.


Such a great show. You felt sorry for Emily, you loved that Richard still turns to Lorelei and trusts her as an adult, you loved Luke and his anger and his willingness to forgive and his awkwardness over his new daughter. And then Lorelei. Watching her deal with the multitude of problems: and unwanted ex calling and causing a huge argument, her mother needing to be picked up off the ground, her father needing her to fix things and her daughter ultimately letting her back in...
Oh I love this show.

Not a great way to advertise your services....

As I fought off the sinus infection, I turned to People's Court. Man that show needs to air later in the day; it does me no good having it on at 3 p.m.

Today's plaintiff was a crazy psychiatrist trying to sue her ex-boyfriend for fraud and regain all the money she spent on him during their relationship. Because he lied in his online profile. Of course, she didn't know about this till after they broke up. She was all blah blah bittercakes and Judge Marilyn, she called her out on it. But as crazy doc went into great detail about her purchases of this and his "false" declarations of love that...Milian looked more and more frightened. Of course, how else should a judge react when she's asked to make the defendant pay for the plaintiff's diaphragm fitting at the gyno?

So what it left me with was this: if you were seeking medical help and suddenly saw your doctor on tv acting like this loon...how would you feel?!??!

In my dream world...

I'm a network programmer at NBC who picks up Arrested Development and puts it on NBC with this dream lineup:

Scrubs
My Name is Earl
Arrested Development
The Office

NBC used to promote their "night of 1000 laughs..." The only way to do that now would be to snatch up Arrested Development and do the above.


I'm just saying...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Arrested Development No More

The Bastards.

Martha...zzzzzz

I can't believe I'm still watching even though each week I pay less and less attention.
Last night had something to do with QVC and I really wish there were more Martha and less of her possible Apprenti.
I don't like any of them anymore and they are boring me to tears.
Yes, I feel that strongly about it. But I continue to watch.

Those sex-crazed Gilmores

Seriously?
Some study on sex on tv came out and they choose the Gilmores as a target. Have they bothered to watch MTV?

Granted, I didn't read the article too closely but the headlines on Google News made it sound like sex is out of control on tv and then used the picture in this article...and I'm thinking, HUH?

Jet Packs and Moles

Sometimes words cannot describe the wonder of a show. And Arrested Development did that this week with two episodes where once again, J and I were laughing too long that we were missing other jokes.
I refer you to the posting at Too Much Free Time to explain what cannot be explained.

The Race: Hour 1

And you'll be lucky if I can stay awake for hour 2 so enjoy this one, kids.

I hate the Weavers. The Godlewski sisters took the time to go over and try and comfort them when they got so upset about some GO KARTS and all they did was mock them. And their obsession with Mr. Paolo being a garbage man is atrocious and disgusting; especially considering that their current state of education isn't exactly leading them to more than a job at McDonald's themselves.

I laughed when Mother Paolo shouted "I WANT TO GO TO NEW ZEALAND!" I hear ya.

And please, bring on more race track trauma for the Weavers cuz they are getting out of control.

Temporary. Have a Drink.

And yes, that sums up Logan to a tee. More and more you can see why he's just not right for Rory. He has the pedigree that Emily and RIchard would kill for one of their girls to marry into, but he's an Ass. And Rory finally saw it tonight. Hopefully it sticks.

Meanwhile, Jess has grown up. Probably in the way my mom suspected he would (mom likes her some Jess). But you have to admit, in all of Jess' previous appearances, he's been more than just rough around the edges. He's been just plain rude and mean to both Rory and Luke. Tonight he was like the Jess you imagine Rory fell in love with.

Lorelei's breakdown over Paul Anka/Rory was beautiful. And so was Rory's attack on Emily - long overdue.
"you're acting more like my mother's mother every day."

Of course in our previews for next week, Rory and Lorelei are finally reunited. Which means that Luke and Lorelei have to be broken up I guess. Cuz that's what they are making it look like.

I choose to continue to live in a world where Luke and Lorelei's storyline is still fun to watch even if it is just about paint chips and violent soccer playing 11 year olds...I don't need the tension or drama of Luke's Past to shake it up.

The Office

Finally, the American version of The Office came through this week with an episode as consistently laugh-out-loud funny as the original from the BBC.

If you haven't seen the BBC version, you must rent it, or borrow it from me. Especially if you work in an office. Cuz David Brent is about three of my former bosses rolled into one huge mess.

But back to the American version which lacks Martin Freeman but is starting to get darned funny.
This week (which I taped because hey, it's on versus The Race and even if it's the Family Race, I have priorities) was sorta about Michael, the Boss, procrastinating simple deadlines (he had to sign three types of forms and refused to do it because he was too busy bugging the intern). But the funny parts, just like in the original, involved the Jim v. Dwight battles.
And finally, they had Jim come up with something that was just like the original. In the original, the same basic character was named Tim and he used to torture his coworker something awful. Why? Because he's far too smart for the job he's stuck in and he's bored silly and he's trying desperately to impress the receptionist. Tim's best work was when he built a wall of binders to shut out his deskmate (they don't have cubes; their desks are just pushed next to each other). He also had fun with sex toys and hiding someone's stapler in jello.

Well this week, Jim moved Dwight's entire desk into the men's room and set him up with working phone line and computer and everything. And then called him to ask a simple work question like nothing was different.

And then JIm started a war between Dwight and Michael that involved West Side story jokes, and the best sissy fight in tv.

Watch The Office sometime.
It makes work bearable.

TV update

I've been having a busy week with little time in front of the tube. I mean, when I am watching tv, it's been Gilmore Girl reruns via a netflixed DVD of season four. And man, do you think Lorelei and Luke will ever get together?!?! (I'm so 2003).

I did catch the end of Martha last night. I'm sorry I missed the task that was the worst yet apparently. But I did get to see two women walk out hand in hand after being fired.
WHA!?

I saw the Race on Tuesday. I was so sad to see the Gaghan's go. They are totally in the race for the right reasons and were having a blast together. I gasped out loud - rather loudly I should say - when they had to find the one red bean in all those other beans. DOH!

I wonder when/if the Weavers will ever catch on that the reason no one likes them is how they behave? I mean, they act like everyone is against them ... but it's only because they seem to be mean to everyone else.

The Paolos are growing on me. They are getting a lot out of this race. And I liked having the scene with the ever stupid Weavers (seriously "Righto or lefto" could they be more offensive??!) making fun of the garbage truck that MR. Paolo drives...juxtaposed with normally whiny Paolo son talking about how proud he is of his strong father, how lifting those garbage cans daily is something he can't do. Not something he won't do; he seemed proud that his dad could do something that he felt so few could. That's good tv.